30 reasons why you should vote for Rebecca Harris

 

Stuck on the fence on election day? Live in Castle Point? Here's thirty reasons to convince you why the Conservative Party's Rebecca Harris deserves your vote.

1. Rebecca Harris has no opinion on Marmite, "Oh I dunno, I think it's okay on toast. But I'm a mustard girl."
2. Rebecca Harris owns a copy of Queen's greatest hits and has had it in her hi-fi since 2003
3. Rebecca Harris goes to her son's sunday league matches and doesn't cheer because she's embarrassed she'll cheer at the wrong time.
4. Rebecca Harris didn't "get" Blur OR Oasis, but she pretended to like them both anyway.
5. Rebecca Harris always takes her shoes off when she comes into your house, even if she's just dropping a birthday card round.
6. Rebecca Harris apologises for being early to the school parent's evening
7. Rebecca Harris stops you as you go to wash the car, "hold on a second lovely, let me check the forecast before you do that".
8. Rebecca Harris doesn't understand why dogs and cats can't just eat the same food. "It all smells the same, doesn't it?"
9. Rebecca Harris apologises to the rug after tripping over it.
10. Rebecca Harris always refers to supermarket cashiers by their name when she thanks them, unaware that this unnerves them every time.
11. Rebecca Harris replies "thanks, you too" when waiters wish her a pleasant meal.
12. Rebecca Harris doesn't like spiders, but didn't complain when she got a tarantula for her 11th birthday because she thought her dad might just take it outside and kill it.
13. Rebecca Harris' favourite curry is chicken korma.
14. Rebecca Harris shreiks "I'M IN HERE" when someone tries to push open the cubicle in the pub loo, even though it's locked.
15. Rebecca Harris always found Ed Norton more attractive than Brad Pitt in the film Fight Club.
16. Rebecca Harris always orders rum and raisin flavour ice cream in Rossi, then always makes the same joke, "I better not eat this too quickly!"
17. Rebecca Harris hasn't seen Mean Girls, but she always pretends she has whenever people post quotes from it on Twitter.
18. Rebecca Harris doesn't trust e-mail, "how can you prove your message got there if a postman didn't see it?"
19. Rebecca Harris phones in to vote on the X Factor final, but ONLY the final.
20. Rebecca Harris started writing a screenplay about a down-on-her-luck PR agent who falls for a celebrity client, but she never got around to finishing it.
21. Rebecca Harris always wants a coffee at the end of her dinner out, but doesn't order one because her friends want to leave.
22. Rebecca Harris thinks Jack Whitehall is "cute, but a bit overbearing".
23. Rebecca Harris gets stood up, but decides to complete all her planned date activities solo anyway.
24. Rebecca Harris doesn't believe in astrology, but still checks the Mystic Meg column daily for some reason.
25. Rebecca Harris found the plot of Lord Of The Rings "okay I suppose... A little far-fetched."
26. Rebecca Harris hates how many notifications she gets, but doesn't know how you turn them off.
27. Rebecca Harris carries a pack of Rivita biscuits in her bag at all times, "just in case".
28. Rebecca Harris talks to herself as she leaves the house, "okay so I've got my phone, keys, purse... Let's go!"
29. Rebecca Harris thought Picasso was alive before Da Vinci, "but this one is much nicer. Look at the state of the nose on that other one!"
30. Rebecca Harris thought the hair on her default Sims character was a really nice colour, actually.